Spot, and block bullying behaviours before they hurt you.
You will interact with a lot of people during your lifetime - clear boundaries protect you for life. Pic: Duan /zefan Adult bullying doesn’t just happen at work. Boundary testing happens EVERYWHERE: In families, where we may have been allowed only weak boundaries In relationships In friendships At work Between neighbours In political parties Between… Continue reading Bully-proofing: get prepared now be protected always.
The day I smashed the most important glass ceiling Pic:DNY59 Istock The first time I stood up to a workplace bully, directly, toe to toe, wasn’t until my late thirties! I’d just become a trade union rep: no coincidence. As a union rep, you talk about workplace culture all the time, and being trained to… Continue reading The day mentioning the trade union ended the bullying
Alison Lapper: Disabled workers need ATTITUDE to survive in able-bodied workplaces After headaches, pins and needles, and problems walking, a spinal tap and an MRI confirm I have multiple sclerosis. I return to work for BBC Drama Production after three months’ sick leave. Four months prior to the first relapse, I directed for the first… Continue reading 12 lessons from BBC Drama’s attitude to disability.
(Pic: Rudzhan Nagier) Setting boundaries at work is your psychological immune system.Yes, women need to be aware of who they let into their physical space, which my workshops cover. But there are psychological boundaries that, if you have them, keep you safe from abusive relationships inside your workplace and outside of it.Do you let your… Continue reading Boundaries are your psychological immune system
Exclusion sounds ok; they are leaving you alone, right? A junior member of a production team walks into the production office every morning, and no one speaks to her all day. The director won’t even make eye contact. When she asks them a question, they look away as if she’d not spoken at all. She… Continue reading The most dangerous bullies are often silent
Your temper is the only thing you don't get rid by losing it Pic id-work When dealing with a bully, you have to stay calm and polite, or you could end up in a slanging match, which the bully will win; they’ve had the practice. Or you'll be accused of being the real bully People… Continue reading No one thinks well when angry
Not to warn of a potential bully's behaviour is a failure in the duty of care I’m location managing on the third series of “Between the Lines”, especially challenging because the lead characters are no longer in the police force, so they have no power, making the scripts much harder to write: they are all… Continue reading Warnings are critical
Whether you are the CEO or a security guard, respect should never be optional. Pic: master1305 istock A union member complained to me that their manager was always short with them when they asked a question. Considering that part of their job entailed asking this manager questions, it was becoming a big irritant. I suggested… Continue reading Respect should never be optional
They test you to see if you will stand your ground Pic: Drazen Zigie At the start of a career in something like TV, you’re keen, but you need to remember there are those who will exploit both how desperate you are to do well and your inexperience. Read your job spec before you start… Continue reading Avoid being bullied in your first job, your dream job, or when promoted.
To teach people how to spot those who plan to hurt them before they get hurt. Pic: Kieferpix Most people still think adult bullying starts with the abusive behaviour. It doesn't. It starts with grooming, boundary testing - as bullies don't want to pick on an assertive person by accident and get called out. They really are… Continue reading Why I created bully-proofing