Adult bullying doesn’t just happen at work. Boundary testing happens EVERYWHERE:
- In families, where we may have been allowed only weak boundaries
- In relationships
- In friendships
- At work
- Between neighbours
- In political parties
- Between parenting groups
- Within community groups
- In care homes
- With builders
- With salespeople
When I started this work, I discovered a boundary that has protected me from all sexual harassers.
I’m sent to a mixed boarding school that feels more like a borstal. From the moment I arrive, it feels like a place where bad things happened. In my year, all the bad things coalesced around one boy. I think he was one of those sent to boarding school because his parents couldn’t control him. And neither can the maths teacher: he makes her cry every lesson until she leaves.
That boy’s gang wants to “play a game”. Covering me with a blanket, they say, “Imagine you are in a hot desert. What would you take off first?” The trick is to say the blanket, but being twelve years old and terrified, I don’t think of that. Summoning up more courage than ever before, I say “NO”, rip off the blanket, and flee.
Unknowingly, I’ve established a boundary that no psycho public-school boy or sexual harasser ever manages to breach. The boundaries we establish as children can protect us for life. I’ve had sexual harassers at the BBC tripping over themselves to get away from me, and not one of them complains that I’m aggressive, because they know what they are trying to do is wrong. I know that it can be hard to believe, but this also applies to bullies. You can set personal boundaries at any age; let me show you how.
One word, found by accident at twelve, protected me for life. Imagine what you could build on purpose. Come and build boundaries that last: https://tinyurl.com/5yjnkjjp
#Bullyproofing
