My next FREE Launch is at 12-noon on Wednesday May 18th: https://lnkd.in/eNbjPpuT
I think it sensible to illustrate what I teach with an example of sexual harassment because I think many already understand the term ‘grooming’ applied to sexual abuse. However, bullies and harassers also groom to assess potential targets. I teach participants in my webinars to recognise bullying and harassment, at the grooming stage, and to have prepared responses that are both appropriate and effective. To illustrate how my bully-proofing webinars and workshops are unlike the usual policy/legalistic ones currently available, please find that one element of my webinars/workshops below.
Deconstructing Weinstein. Melissa Thompson recorded the pitch she gave Weinstein. The result is the most powerful anti-harassment warning clip I’ve ever seen. All the sexual harassment I have encountered in casework as a union official starts roughly the same way – pushing boundaries. Weinstein grooms Melissa, broaching boundaries right from his entrance – when asking for privacy he locks the door and pushes Melissa’s handshake away, imposing a hug saying, “That’s nice, keep it up!” If this kind of behaviour is not challenged, it only gets worse. Please watch this and forward it to anyone who hasn’t analysed it before
https://tinyurl.com/mst4csxt while not explicit, if it might trigger you, please don’t watch.
I’ve numbered below my red flags.
Melissa Thompson is NOT doing anything wrong – this is all about how Weinstein manipulates/grooms her. The red flags below shouldn’t be ignored, though I appreciate that Melissa must have thought her meeting with Weinstein was her big break. In all honesty, if it were me at the same age, I think I could have been trapped; remember, Weinstein is a master predator.
In the interests of this never happening to anyone in your network, please forward this post.
Melissa is expecting a meeting with Harvey AND his marketing team; Harvey arrives alone and locks the door (1)
MT goes for a handshake – Harvey knocks her hand away and hugs her instead – rubbing her back (2)
HW: That’s nice; let’s keep it up…. Am I allowed to flirt with you? (3)
MT: Hmm, we’ll see, a little bit
HW: A little bit not much right? Then alright I won’t. So what y’do want? (4)
(Melissa trying to ‘save’ the meeting)
MT: No…it’s OK
Melissa talks about the pitch. Harvey tries to normalise what he is doing and what Melissa might get if she complies.
Weinstein appears to be touching Melissa under the table (5) Melissa says his hand kept moving up her dress.
HW: You just tell me what I can do and when it’s going to happen (6)
Harvey leans in closer (7)
HW: It’s fun when we do this, but I’m actually, seriously having a conversation with you (8)
MT: OK good we can do both.
Melissa demonstrates the app. Harvey underlining the power he has
HW: Wow… Okay I’m going to use your service, and then you know you can sign me up, tell your boss (9)
Melissa jocularly pushes Weinstein, trying to regain control
MT: Data’s hot
HW: It is hot. You’re hot…Let me have a little bit of you, give it to me (10) It’s okay would you like me to to do it some more?
MT: A little bit. Uhuh that a little high, that’s a little high
Melissa goes back to explaining the app. Weinstein is more interested in rubbing Melissa’s back, sizing her up (11)
Melissa tells the interviewer (Sky’s Hannah Thomas-Peter) what she was thinking at the time,
“What do I do? How did I get myself here?” Self-reproach that isn’t appropriate – there is only one driver in this, and it’s Weinstein.
Weinstein goes to the kitchen to get water, Melissa follows him turning her computer towards the kitchen as she goes, explaining to Sky’s Hannah Thomas-Peter that she does this as she she is now afraid of Weinstein
HW: I’ve got to go edit a movie, but I’ll meet you somewhere. Meet you for a drink.
MT: What time?
HW: It’s 3.34, I’ll meet you at 5.30 at TriBeCa Grand?
Melissa thinks that meeting is to close the deal and that it will be safer to meet him in a hotel lobby rather than be alone with him in his office.
She goes alone (12) to the hotel bar, which she says feels safer than his office. Harvey arrives, telling Melissa to follow him; she thinks it’s to a conference room, it isn’t; it’s to his bedroom, where she says he raped her. According to his assistant, Weinstein’s hotel room was actually a suite of rooms that was his usual place of business.
“If I just shut up, it will be over in a few minutes,” Hope D’Amore – another of Weinstein’s targets. In truth, it won’t be over – we carry those things we should have challenged but didn’t with us. I’ll look at those red flags in detail tomorrow.
I want as many people as possible to know what they should do in such circumstances, so their reactions are automatic, appropriate and effective.