I like to keep what I teach as simple as possible because I know that when someone stands their ground with a bully, they will be too stressed to remember anything complex.
So I define bullying as an illegitimate attempt to control.
The most obvious and lazy form of bullying is shouting: constructive feedback is never shouted! I’ve never understood why employers want to keep managers who can not even manage their own behaviour. The control they have is an illusion, no one really respects an adult throwing a tantrum. Shouting is also a lazy way to groom potential targets – shout at one person while assessing others’ responses to your shouting. Can I establish shouting as acceptable behaviour, at least if I do it in my department!
Shouters are the easiest bullies to undermine. When angry, the human brain is not functioning at its best; it’s too busy venting. So if confronted by polite reasonableness, rather like the little boy who tells the king he has no clothes on, they have no comeback.
I was at a meeting with a department head and other union reps, about 10 of us in all. This department head was a shouter. He kept asserting something, and I (refusing to submit to his view) kept counting to the point he shouted, “We’re supposed to be working together on this, Jane” I responded, “Well, I’m not raising my voice!” He was quiet for the rest of that meeting.
#workplacebullying #harassment #bullyingawareness #bullyingprevention #anewnormal
