“You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. Coercive control is frequently driven by the fears of its perpetrators, and maintained by the fears of its victims. Perpetrators often fear losing what makes them stable or losing what they feel entitled to. These are two different but related fears. To fear losing something that gives you stability might be quite easy to understand, but losing something you think you are entitled to is about an attack on your status and your sense of justice. It can be humiliating or shameful to lose status or what you perceive of as rights. Some feel enraged by this…
…Controlling people often believe that a partner and any children belong to them and are more likely to see separation as an attack on their ego and their rights. They can see the world as a series of hierarchies, and they are always above their partner and children. They often fear humiliation more keenly than physical threats, which gives us some insight into their world.
#CoerciveControl #InControl #JaneMoncktonSmith
