What workplace bullying really costs

2 colleagues of the target

Again from “Workplace Bullying Symptoms and Solutions” Edited by Noreen Tehrani 2012

“Healing the wounded soul” a chapter by Marie-France Hirigoyen

Denial of the reality of bullying

As bullying is difficult to quantify, people attempt to construct rational explanations to explain. Its occurrence. Perpetrators will refuse to accept that their behaviour is bullying, asserting that the target is incompetent, fragile or oversensitive, and that in these circumstance their ‘firm’ behaviour is reasonable and appropriate. Faced with this kind of denial, targets will try to understand what they have been doing wrong. …Targets will continue to seek logical explanations, even when the bullying is clearly a phenomenon independent of them. They feel isolated and ashamed of what has happened to them while their tormentor will be seen as innocent of any inappropriate behaviour. This feeling of responsibility in reinforced by observers and bystanders who my become confused by the situation and unable to provide non-judgemental support, frequently commenting or advising inappropriate actions. Once this one-sided, destructive process is underway, only a radical change of appropriate from one of the protagonists can bring it to a close. However, in a crisis, behaviours tend to become intensified and fixed with rigid organisation becoming more rigid, aggressive individuals more aggressive and depressed employees more depressed. …

For many observers the saying that there is no guilt without fault is applied. How can colleagues begin to understand what is happening when they cannot recognise the reality of the aggression? Colleagues find themselves too embarrassed or fearful to become involved in providing support for the target to engage in looking for ways to resolve the situation.”

If I could put a sign up in EVERY workplace it would say ‘EVERYONE should be treated with dignity & irrespective of performance’ – that is a universal human right and if a manager can not control their own behaviour, then why are they being trusted to manage anything! Also bystanders are just telling the bully that they are bullyable as well by saying nothing. I know intervention is hard but if someone in your workplace started punching I hope that someone would intervene – I’m just trying to evolve behaviours at work – that’s all. #workplacebullying #workplaceharassment #bullyingawarenesss #bullyingprevention #anewnormal

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